Let's try this.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Primal Docs and Knee Socks

So, I joined Primal Docs.  I love the idea that there is a community out there of seriously legit doctors that "get it".  Imagine going to your regular doctor and telling them that you put butter and oil in your coffee, cook with bacon fat, and only work out 3 days a week for about an hour.  Yeah, right.  I'd probably just rather lie so that I don't have to hear a bunch of shit about how I should be eating my daily ration of whole grains. *farty noise*

Since I mentioned my Bulletproof coffee above, I feel like I should give you an update on that as well.  Dude...it's fucking amazing.  It took me a while to notice the effects...slowly, but surely, I did.  This coffee was the in-season, organic cherry on the dairy-free ice cream that I needed.  After YEARS of wanting to take a nap in the afternoon and just crash on the couch when I came home from work, I FEEL AMAZING.  Yesterday, I came home and did 3 loads of laundry and made something awesome from the Paleo Parents, and still had to force myself to go to bed at 10pm.

Update #2:  Gumball Poodle knee socks.  These things rule!  In case you didn't know, I used to weigh almost 300 pounds.  Yikes, yeah, I know.  Well, something that happens when you were fat and you lose a bunch of weight is that your calves are still huge.  It's so stupid.  Your boobs get tiny and your calves stay fat.  WTF.  Say goodbye to shorts...forever.  I won 2 pairs of Gumball Poodle socks and thought that would be a perfect way to test them out since most knee socks look all deformed when you wear them over big calves...like...you can't tell what they're supposed to say.  It's gnarly...and that's only if you can actually pull them up that far.  #fatgirlproblems  I love these so much, I'm going to let you see what they look like on me!  You're welcome.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Cheap-O Paleo

Big ups to Gumball Poodle and KnickerRocker!  I was one of the lucky winners of their Facebook contest and recieved 2 pairs of SUPER cool socks and a $25 certificate to KnickerRocker. I've heard that the Gumball Poodle socks fit over big fat calves, so I'll update you after I Crossfit in them.

Okay, onto business.  Every blog post I read from my Paleo people lately talks about two things:  How to afford Paleo, and how to not spend every waking moment in the kitchen.  Well, I have an answer to both.

How to afford Paleo:

1.  MEAL PLAN.  This is the most important one and I'll elaborate in the next section...You only buy what you need because you have a list in front of you saying exactly how much you need.

2.  Google is your BFF.  Find local farmers.  Write them emails.  Buy their shit in bulk and have it delivered.  Google how to freeze/ferment/preserve your veggies for use all year 'round...on that note, cook seasonally if you don't have a giant freezer.

3.  Amazon is your BFF.  Subscribe to the shit you buy regularly.  I hear Amazon Prime is a good investment, but I've yet to see it pay off because I always buy over $25 worth of stuff and get free shipping on the stuff that qualifies anyway.

Okay, so on to the most important part...MEAL PLANNING:

I'm not in the business of blogging.  I don't make a profit on anything that I mention in my blog, so if I say it rules, it's because it rules, not because I make a dollar for every person that buys it/reads it/whatever.

Once A Month Mom changed my LIFE!  She offers several different menus...PALEO, Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Vegetarian, etc.  This might sound really intimidating, but this woman has thought of everything and walks you through how to cook once a month.  You prep a bunch of food (some cooked, some raw that you throw in the crotchpot or whatever).  You don't need as much freezer space as you might think.  I recently picked 40 pounds of organic strawberries at Swanton Farms and still had FOUR 1-gallon bags of whole strawberries in there when I did my once a month cooking.

You can CUSTOMIZE your menus for the amount of people in your family!!  This is genius.  Srsly.  You can't be totally technologically impaired because it involves some intermediate computer skills (I had to read her tutorial...I'm kind of a ditz), but at some point, you put a number 3, for example, into a box and everything miraculously changes to accommodate the size of your family.  All  you're responsible for after your cooking day is side dishes and a few breakfasts/lunches/snacks, etc.

I could go on all day, but only you can decide to do it.  You cook for an entire month in one day.  That's it.  


I think you have to pay for a nominal membership...like $8 a month or something.  It's worth every penny just for the chopping list...or the organized shopping list...or the moment to moment instructions for the whole day...

Okie dokie...this got really long and I have Friday-itis, so I'm going to try and get out of here early and bomb over to Santa Cruz. 

Dear Stalker,

Dear Stalker,

It wasn't as awesome as you think it was.  Move on.