Let's try this.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Cinnamon Roll Biscuits and Black Friday

I swear to gravy...if I hear "Black Friday" one more time, I'm going to stab myself in the neck. Srsly.

For those of you that follow me on Facebook, you'll be wondering about how my Cinnamon Roll Biscuits turned out...I think.  Well, they were REALLY good.  I tweaked them to my liking, of course, so I'll be posting the recipe with my personal touch.

Here is the original recipe.

And here is MY recipe:


Ingredients:

3 cups blanched almond flour
1/2 tsp Himalayan sea salt
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp cardamom 
1/4 cup coconut oil/melted grass fed butter or ghee (I used coconut oil)
2 Tbls honey (doesn't need to be raw...you're cooking it!)
2 large room temp eggs (best quality you can get)

For the filling:
1/4-1/2 cup honey (I think...I just squirted it straight from the bottle onto the rolled out dough, and I was muy generoso)
1/2 cup ground pecans/walnuts
1/4 cup coconut sugar
1- 2 Tbls ground cinnamon
1/4 tsp cardamom


Directions:

Preheat the oven to 340 degrees, yes, 340.

In a large bowl, combine the almond flour, salt, cardamom and baking soda.

In a mixer w/paddle attachment (if you have it, otherwise use beaters and a bowl!), beat together the honey and room temp eggs (not the oil/butter yet!).
Add the egg mixture to the almond flour mixture. Mix until decently incorporated, then add the oil/butter. It will be pretty sticky.  You can also let it rest in the fridge for 10 min. This might make it easier to work with, but try the next step before abandoning the dough in the fridge.

Roll the dough out between two sheets of parchment paper, into a giant, thin circle. Take your time and get a good uniform thickness.
Write your name with a squeeze bottle of honey on the dough, then cross it out, then squeeze squiggles over the dough.  A lot...until you think, "That's probably enough."  It's fun, and it tastes good. You can spread the honey around with your hands, if you're OCD, but I didn't and the world didn't stop turning. 

Mix the cinnamon and coconut sugar together in a bowl, then sprinkle it over the dough (use your HANDS, and reserve about 1 Tbs for later), then sprinkle the chopped nuts or whatever else you like in your cinnamon rolls (I like to put an extra shprinkle of Himalayan Pink salt).  Make sure you get everything all the way to the edges and try to keep the filling additions finely chopped so they don't tear through the dough when you start rolling. 

 
Now you're ready to roll it up!  Pick up the edge of the parchment paper and start to roll the edge of the dough away from you using the paper the whole time. Try to start a tight roll from the beginning. Continue rolling until you have a nice uniform log (don't worry if the edges look gnarly. If the roll cracks use the warmth of your hand to press it together and make it smooth again. Be gentle and careful when rolling up the dough. This dough is not as workable as a gluten based flour would be.


With a good bread knife, cut the roll into about 1-1.5" thick slices. Shape them a bit if needed.  Lay the rolls cut side down on to a parchment line cookie sheet. They can be placed apart or connected. Sprinkle the remainder of the coconut sugar/cinnamon mixture on top like this:


Bake 10-15 min.

I suggest staying close to the stove and checking a couple of minutes before the baking time is up. Everyone's oven cooks a bit differently and baking times will vary depending on the size of the rolls. They should be golden with some browning (you can see in this pic that the little edges are barely brown, and they were perfect). The dough toward the center of the roll should be soft but not to doughy. If baked too long they WILL become dry and hard. If cooked just right though, they will be heavenly.
 

When ready, remove from the oven and let cool for about 10 min. If you try to move them before then, they are likely to fall apart.


Makes about 9-10 cinnamon rolls.


Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Link love.

So, I constantly come across cool websites with a TON of information, recipes, money saving tips, DIY projects, etc.  I don't want to make a habit of just posting a bunch of links, but I thought if I gave you the basics, it might help.

Please keep in mind...NONE of these sites asked to be featured.  I had to reach into my brain and try to remember my favorite sites!  It wasn't easy, people...it's the day before Thanksgiving and I just want to get the hell out of here!

My heart is with Paleo, so let's start there!:

http://nomnompaleo.com/ (I HIGHLY recommend the "Asian Chicken Thighs"...the name is deceptively low key.  This is literally the best chicken I've ever eaten.)

http://paleoparents.com/ (This site is invaluable for parents!  The recipes even have little hearts next to the things the kids can help with.)

http://urbanposer.blogspot.com/  (Seriously, the baked goods on this site are the BEST consistency out there for grain free cooking.  If you've been doing this for a while, you'll know how valuable that is!)

http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/ (Whether you eat Paleo or not, this is some of the best food around. Pho Realz.)

http://stalkerville.net/site/chow/ (Like Allrecipes for Paleo)

http://stalkerville.net/site/dessert/ (The dessert version of Allrecipes)

http://fastpaleo.com/ (Another Allrecipes-esque site.  Between these three, you can find anything you used to love and make it Paleo)

Homestead-y links:

http://newlifeonahomestead.com/ (Huge following on this site and tons of great info.)

http://theelliotthomestead.com/ (She dove head-first into homesteading and journaled the whole thing for us to learn from.)

http://www.littlehouseliving.com/

As far as homestead blogs go, I'm still working on a list.  They have to be informative AND a sense of humor is much appreciated...go easy on the religious stuff too.  Everyone has religious preferences, but they're rarely the same as everyone elses.  Please let me know if you have any suggestions!!

Since there are so many links in this post, I think I'm going to wrap this up.  Maybe I'll do this fairly regularly and have a different theme!  Omg...#grownupproblems  I just totally contradicted the first paragraph of this post by suggesting that I'm going to do this again. *sigh*  Great.  I also just realized there are a lot of !!!'s in this post. 

I'm going to go make the Urban Poser's Cinnamon Rolls and report back to you.  Hopefully I remember to take pictures this time. :D

Oh, P.S.  If you shop on Amazon, but don't use an affiliate link, please use this one: Tara Zen's Link for SHOPPING  Black Friday it up, people...from HOME. :D



Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Sweet Potato Lasagna and on the Homestead front...

As I sat here eating my Sweet Potato Lasagna with 2 pastured eggs on top...I started daydreaming about having chickens...and what I'm going to do with my trash....and do I want a log home?  I really want to be totally self-sufficient.  I suppose I should buy that chunk of property before I get too ahead of myself...

This lasagna is super duper, btw.  I will share the recipe. :D

Sweet Potato Lasagna
tweaked quite a bit from the original recipe here

Ingredients

  • 1 lb hot Italian sausage, casing removed
  • 1 large white/yellow onion
  • 3 cloves garlic
  • 2 cups spaghetti sauce (I used the sauce from Well Fed 2)
  • 2 Tbs coconut oil
  • couple leaves of fresh basil (leave it out if you don’t have it, just freshens up the sauce a bit)
  • 2-3 small sweet potatoes

Method

Crank your oven to 400ºF.

In a saute pan, saute the onions & garlic in coconut oil, then brown the sausage.

While that’s going, peel the sweet pots and slice 'em with the slicing thingy on your food processor. If you don't have one, don't fret, just slice them into planks 1/4-1/2 inch thick...just make sure they're a uniform thickness so that they all cook evenly.

Mix the sausage/onion/garlic mixture together with the rest of the ingredients minus your potato planks...this way you only have to layer 2 things instead of 3-4.  Trust me, it all tastes the same.

Using a 9×9ish oven safe, lubed baking dish, start layering the potatoes and the sauce. Repeat until all your ingredients are used up…trying to reserve enough sauce to cover the top of the lasagna.



Bake for 45 minutes. You’re looking for a bubbly pan with a crispy, browned top. Right out of the oven, the lasagna may by liquidy, let it set for a good half hour before cutting into it, as it will solidify.

Serve for dinner with a salad, or for breakfast with a couple of runny eggs and some fruit...dude...seriously tasty.

I wonder if people read the stuff that comes after recipes...

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

I want a homestead. Is this the first post in a series?

The more I get into the Paleo lifestyle, the more I like the idea of sustainable living.  Shows like American Blackout and Doomsday Preppers...as irritating and ignorant as they can be...also make me want to be less reliant on others for things like...food, water, and power.

I have become absolutely obsessed with buying property, paying it off ASAP, then starting to develop it into a totally self-sufficient homestead.

My head is just SPINNING right now with ideas since I found parcels of land for under $40K.  Beautiful, mountainous, HUGE parcels of land with oodles of potential.

Since I know that people read these blogs for recipes, I'll give you the one that I'm eating for breakfast:

1 head of cabbage
1 large onion
3 pieces of cooked bacon
Salt & Peps
Eggs for serving

1. Dice the onion, caramalize it in the bacon grease, then set it aside.
2. Make the cabbage into thin strips (shred) however you see fit, then saute it in a super hot pan until it has charred bits and is mostly cooked.
3.  Crumble or chop the bacon, then combine it with the onion and cabbage.  Season w/salt and peps, cover with eggs (cooked to your liking), and enjoy!
4.  If you have leftover cabbage mixture, serve whatever protein you want for dinner on top of it...we have a constant supply of this in the fridge and cover it like pasta.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Single Moms and Hockey Practice

I realized how hard it is to be a single mom again this weekend! Holyyyyy shit has it been a while. T was gone taking care of her dad up in Sacramento, and I was stuck trying to do ALL of the house stuff, cook, clean, do laundry, AND haul the Pickle to all of her hockey. Let me reiterate the weekend hockey schedule...Friday night, Saturday afternoon, and Sunday morning...all gone to the hockey gods. This was my view for most of the weekend:

I still managed to bottle the Kombucha:
Make almond milk, make the spaghetti sauce from Well Fed 2, do 4 loads of laundry, and a few other things that I don't remember...it's all a haze.

Want to know more about Kombucha??  Click here.  It's where I send everyone that asks.  Today's recipe is for a Kombucha Tea second ferment:

Tara's Favorite KT

In a quart glass jar, plop in:

5-7 Dark Sweet Cherries (frozen is fine)
1-2 inch piece of vanilla bean (1/2 tsp of extract can sub)

Pour your Kombucha Tea in (after about a 7 day ferment).  Let it sit on the counter for 2-3 more days, but DON'T FORGET TO BURP it every day!  Unless you like fermented tea and shards of glass decorating your kitchen.  Taste it...do you like it?  Strain it, bottle it, and put it in the fridge!



Costco and Crumb Cakes

Man, there is so much on my mind lately that I want to talk about...and while I would love to talk about how many idiots there are at Costco...letting their kids push carts...I think I'll talk about how awesomely friggin productive I was this weekend. :D But one more thing about Costco...why does it have to be a family affair where you bring your family of 342709832 people?!  OMG, srsly.

First I made Against All Grain's bread and forgot to take a picture of it. *sigh*....I'm the worst food blogger ever...but here is the recipe.  I made it from the book, but she has it posted on her site...it is SUPER good, makes a shit-ton of dishes, and it was TOTALLY worth it when my daughter said she would eat the crap out of it as long as it was toasted. Finally!

I made these Apple Cinnamon Crumb Cake things again, but this time I tweaked it to my liking: Apple Crumb Cakes originally by the Paleo Parents.  I diced the apples by hand so that they were a little bit chunkier, and I added a teaspoon of baking soda.  That is SERIOUSLY the best way to do it...they aren't as dense and you can taste the apple more.

 


Apple Cinnamon Mini Crumb Cakes
Ingredients
Cake
1 1/2 C Almond Flour
2 Tbsp arrowroot powder
2 Tbsp tapioca flour
1 Tbsp cinnamon
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 C applesauce
1/3 C honey
1/3 C coconut oil
1 Tbsp vanilla
1 large apple, peeled and diced
Topping
1/2 C Almond Flour
3 Tbsp palm sugar
1 Tbsp cinnamon
 
Instructions
  1. Sift together flours, soda and cinnamon.
  2. Puree together in a food processor or electric mixer applesauce, honey, oil and vanilla until smooth.
  3. Pulse in dry ingredients (but not the diced apple!)until just combined and smooth.
  4. Stir/fold/whatever in the diced apple.
  5. Pour into muffin or loaf pans, 2/3 full
  6. In separate bowl, us fork to combine topping ingredients
  7. Distribute toppings evenly over top of loaves (about 1 Tbsp each)
  8. Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes until lightly browned
Let cool before serving, to help them stiffen. Seriously...don't skip this step or you will have a MESS on your hands.

Keep them in the fridge and reheat in the toaster, or freeze them for quite a while!

Thursday, October 3, 2013

Pumpkin Granola and Working at the VA.

What's UP, everybody?!  Let government furloughs and pumpkin recipes roll in!  I'm just kidding about the furlough thing...that sucks.  Yes, I work at the VA, but I'm a nurse, so I get to keep coming to work. :D  Can you imagine if they decided to stop paying us and we decided to not come into a job we aren't going to get paid for?  Riiiiiiiiight.  Bad news.  

K, good news...Paleo PUMPKIN Granola!  PALEO!  My girlfriend has decided that I need to sell this stuff.  She is very serious.  Let me give you the recipe before she talks me into it.  I have modified it pretty significantly.  I make my own pumpkin pie spice...not because I'm amazing, but because it's SUPER easy.  I picked up a jar of pumpkin pie spice the other day in Marshall's and, no shit, there was sugar, cornstarch, and all kinds of shit I couldn't pronounce!  Here is a good one.  Make it yourself:
  • 4 tbsp ground cinnamon
  • 4 tsp ground ginger
  • 4 tsp ground nutmeg
  • 3 tsp ground all spice
Mix it all together and put it in a recycled spice jar, then use it here:

Okay, I got the original recipe from Juli @ PaleOMG, but I've modified it quite a bit.


Pumpkin Granola
Ingredients
  • 1 cup whole almonds
  • 1.5 cups pumpkin seeds (pepitas), divided, so pay attention!
  • 1.5 cups pecans, divided, again...pay attention!
  • 1 cup roasted cashews
  • 1 cup walnuts
  • 10 dried dates, pits removed
  • 1 cup pumpkin puree
  • 2/3 cup coconut oil, melted
  • 2/3 cup unsweetened shredded coconut
  • 2/3 cup maple syrup
  • 2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 2 Tablespoons pumpkin pie spice
  • 1 teaspoon of pink salt

Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees.
  2. In a food processor or high speed blender, add 1 cup EACH of almonds, pumpkin seeds, and pecans.  Pulse until it's about half nut flour, and half nut chunks, then dump it into a large mixing bowl.
  3. In your processor/high speed blender, add the dates, pumpkin puree, coconut oil, maple syrup, vanilla vanilla, and all spices. Puree the shit out of it.
  4. Add pumpkin mixture and coconut to your nut mixture and mix well.
  5. Hand-chop the rest of the nuts or just break them a couple of times with your fingers so that you have larger chunks and add them to your mix.  
  6. You might feel like this is a "batter" and way too wet to ever make granola, but TRUST ME, this will work!
  7. Place parchment paper on a large baking sheet and pour HALF of your granola mixture on top. Use a spatula to spread out the mixture evenly so everything will cook at the same time.
  8. Place in oven and cook in 15 minute intervals, taking out the granola and stirring it every time to be sure it doesn’t burn.(Fold the outside edges in, then chop it up with your spatula to even it out again, then smooth it out with your spatula.  Eventually it will be too crumbly, just keep stirring!)
  9. LET COOL. Letting the granola cool will help it harden up.  If you let it cool and it's still too soft and chewy, put your oven on 150 and let the granola sit in there for a couple of hours.  Stir it one more time, then turn off the oven and let it sit in the oven over night.
  10. Eat all by itself or top it off with coconut milk, almond milk, or even dairy milk (if you do that).